Getting back to my gamer roots

Happier times

Video games have been apart of my life for as long as I can remember. I remember the first time I picked up a controller;It was to to play  “Super Mario Bros” and “Duck Hunt” on my older cousin’s Nintendo NES and I remember instantly feeling on top of the world. I had magic in the palm of my hands! My dad would always have a ton of games on the PC like Tomb Raider, Doom, Wolfenstein, Prince of Persia, and Leisure Suit Larry. (MS DOS was the shit!) also my aunts had every console known to man and a ton of games for each one. I would always go to my grandparent’s house and play the newest games and became hooked! Eventually, we finally got our very own Playstation and it was a wrap from there!

When I was younger, my entire life pretty much passed me by because I was so busy beating games on my console. I didn’t go to school dances, football or basketball games, I didn’t go to the movies with my friends, I didn’t go to parties (I wasn’t fucking invited to any parties anyway), I didn’t go to theme parks with my friends, and hell shit I didn’t even have too many friends! People get surprised when I tell them that I’m 26 and never been to a concert before but it’s not a big deal to me or anything because it wasn’t something that I thought about since I was so busy with  my games.Throughout this time I had the Playstation 1 & 2,Dreamcast, Xbox360, and my PC that I played on ALL.THE.TIME! Whether it was shaking virtual booty on” Bust A Groove”, Gaining XP on “Final Fantasy VIII”, or creating dysfunctional ass families on “The Sims 2”, gaming was something that everybody knew I could be found doing. It kept me out of trouble and entertained, but what I DIDN’T know, was that it was keeping me sane.

My first love ❤

Cut to Dec 2016…I’m focused on my goals in the entertainment industry and working at a casino full time during graveyard shift. Life is TOUGH right now because every time I turn around , I have another damn bill to pay that eats up my entire check and I’m constantly drained from staying up all night at work trying to make money for said bills. During the day is the only time that I’m able to get some sleep,which is difficult because everyone else that get to sleep at night time (is it SUCH a luxury and people don’t even realize it) is out living life and being loud as hell. Then, I’ll wake up at around 10PM and get ready for work.This is pretty my daily routine and it sucks. Even on my days off I spend a ton of time catching up on sleep.I don’t go out, I don’t travel, I don’t do ANYTHING! I have been so severely depressed lately after realizing that this is pretty much what being an adult is all about, that I just sit in my room and start to hate life (MY life).

My dad bought a gaming laptop and ditched his Xbox360 and my younger brother got a new TV and his old one was dusting away in the living room. I personally haven’t had my own TV in about 6 years, but one day I got this big bright idea and I walked in the room and asked if I could use my dad’s Xbox.He said yes (duh. lol) and that was when my new life began! I brought the dusty 40in flat screen that worked perfectly fine into my room and I connected the Xbox.VOILA!  I popped in Assasins Creed 3 that I bought 5 months ago for $10 from a discount book store and GOT.MY.LIFE! My brother also got the Xbox one (spoiled ass) and I took his old Xbox 360. Now, in both of the consoles that I “inherited” the damn disc drawer didn’t work! I had to tap on the top of the console with my fist once I pushed the CD in, just go get it to finally read, BUT my brother had Xboxlive so I was able to simple download the games that I wanted and not have to worry about a CD! Now, I DID play “The Sims 3” for THE longest and created stories that I posted to Youtube! My computer is super outdated though so i’m not able to play the game anymore after EA did some sort of new update for the game. It’s been since 2015 since I last played The Sims! I also bought 4 games on Steam, but ONCE AGAIN was not able to play any of them since the computer was too outdated. Fuhhh….

200 hours of gameplay? I need dat!

Being able to play my games again meant EVERYTHING to me! I didn’t realize how long it had been since I had a controller in my hand! I felt so bad for totally forgetting about something that was always apart of me, but I had been constantly working my full time job and doing things in acting/hosting and not one thought about video games came to my head. I was so so SO behind on the newest games because I wasn’t keeping up with the gaming world since I didn’t even play as much anymore. It felt great to finally play games that I had been wanting to play for years. Games like Tomb Raider ( 2013), Fable 3(2010) ,Skyrim(2011) , and LA Noire (2011) are all old news to most gamers, but exciting for me. Remember how I said that my dad got a new gaming laptop? well, I had no clue that my dad had ANOTHER new laptap that my mom was using to do her homework. WHAT!? As soon as I got home from work that next morning, I IMMEDIATELY downloaded Steam, logged in, and started playing Life Is Strange(2015). I played LIS on the xbox360, but only played the first chapter in a demo. I didn’t want to purchase the full version, since I already bought the game over a year ago and wasn’t able to play it on my computer. I just finished the game last week and it was absolutely beautiful! I was finally happy and not thinking about bills or feeling jealous of people of people’s lives on social media. I haven’t been that ridiculously depressed girl in about 2 months now. I was genuinely happy for the first time since forever and I felt like I had found that piece of me that was missing.

My new PC gaming controller

Now I can use adulting to my advantage because every time I get paid, the first thing I do after paying my bills is go straight to Steam and buy a new game to play. Right now I’m playing  “The Walking Dead Game:Season 2” and just started “Tomb Raider” on Steam, and I’m finishing up Metal Gear Solid V: Ground Zeroes on the Xbox360. I’m realizing that gaming is apart of who I am and that I literally feel sick without it!

I’m catching upthough Y’all!! I’m now subscribed to PC gamer and Game Informer’s email list to get the 4-1-1 on new games. I’m getting into online games again, so I’ll be checking out Overwatch (finally)! Might even mess around and start streaming on Twitch while I play. The next step though, is to finally get my OWN shit instead of my dad’s laptop and my brother’s old busted Xbox! (Let’s see if my bills will let me though. smh)


Video games are my therapy! I’m now the happiest that I’ve been in a long long time and feeling stress-free.



Metal Gear Solid 5:Ground Zeroes.

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